![]() She explained to me that their policy was meant to protect me from predatory men. The counselor followed and I was met with three security guards and my principal - who was a woman. So I grabbed my jacket, stood up and walked myself out. She told me to put on a jacket or I would be removed from the premises. I truly was not trying to be funny - I genuinely took that as a compliment because I was in a period of my life where I was trying to embrace my natural form and I assumed that a woman in a higher position would support that. ![]() One day while I was in the cafeteria with my friends, a guidance counselor approached me and said, “Your nipples are protruding.” I did not have the slightest clue about what her comment meant, but I assumed it was a positive comment so I said plainly, “Thank you.” She responded, “No, that means they are projecting out,” to which I, once again, said, “Thank you.” I started wearing shirts where it was more clear that I wasn’t wearing a bra - nothing too crazy - just a fitted blouse of sorts. Only one week after I stopped wearing bras, I was already so much more confident in my body - in myself. I had quickly evolved from being afraid to let my natural shape show to making a point for it to. Maybe it wasn’t as noticeable as I had thought. I went about my day going to first period, then to second and so on. I was afraid people would notice that my chest looked a bit flatter than normal. I was just a young girl with a black and white cubic patterned dress. When I finally arrived, I took all my layers off from being in the harsh Chicago winter months. To wear the bra or to not wear the bra: it was a decision that I went back and forth on at least 1,000 times and eventually culminated in a split-second action before I left for school that morning. I was bullied in middle school for my body being under the standard “healthy” weight and the last thing I wanted was for my unflattering legacy to continue into high school. I was a flat-chested “skinny” girl with chicken legs and everyone around me growing up always made sure I knew that. My first sexual revelation as a woman happened during my sophomore year of high school when I stopped wearing bras. It is oppressive by nature to not acknowledge the existence of identities that do not fit into the conventional binary. We cannot keep enforcing such barriers in the language we use, which is why it is necessary to clarify what one means when they speak so generally. I think it’s important to make these distinctions because gender identity is incredibly fluid and we do not live in a binary world. ![]() ![]() When I say “women” - I am referring to cisgender women, the only identity I can meaningfully speak on. When I say “men” I am specifically referring to cisgender men. Author’s Note: I would like to clarify my terminology out of respect for the gender non-conforming community. ![]()
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